10 Secret tips to improve your relationship


Do you ever feel that your relationship is not the same as before? This article might help you bring back the intensity of your connection towards your partner. Below are the ten most effective and reliable tips to enhance every relationship. These advices can be the perfect keys or main ingredients that can make a perfect relationship work (either it’s between you and your spouse or family members). If you think everything is great, use this article as a guide to ensure that your relationship with your partner is leading to the road of forever.

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1. Appreciating each other

Can you still remember the days when you were dating? You even spent extra miles just to impress her, right? If you want to have a long and very fulfilling relationship with your spouse, always continue to appreciate her even in a little way. No need to remember or put yourself back those days, but being thankful and appreciating her is a good thing to help you improve your relationship.

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If having some trouble or don’t know where to start, a little compliment is a better way to make her feel important. Couples that are giving compliments to each other regularly is leading to having a healthy and happy relationship. Always remember that the main rule is that you’re saying everything with all your heart. It will lead you also to have a passionate and affectionate relationship.

2. Share Power

According to John Gottman’s study, when a man does not want to share his power to his partner, a chance of his relationship to self-destruct is 81%. While acquiring power might be top of your profession, this tactic might affect your relationship, for your partner will feel like her opinions are not important to you and she will probably feel that everything does not make sense to you. To save your relationship, learn how to compromise. Make a habit with yourself by giving in on topics you don’t really want, you may see more improvement in your relationship.

3. Focus on what is present to secure your future

The strength of your relationship towards hard times has something to do with your availability for each other. But, unluckily for many reasons, most couples move far from each other, this means that if the couples are facing hard times, communication fails and their relationship does not survive. Building a solid relationship begins with recognizing the moments rather than ignoring those simple moments. If your spouse wants to share something with you, take time to listen or even respond. It seems so strange, but if you give importance even for small things, you’ll see that your partner will be their for you too especially in times of needs. Couples that make an extra effort by giving a normal conversation about what they feel has a good prospect to have a lasting future.

4. Intensify your friendship

Your connection with your partner can affect your level of satisfaction towards your relationship. Our childhood experiences influence our ability to relate to other people. Glasser & Prior (2006) says that 65% of young kids can be rated having a secure attachment kind of style while 35% has an insecure attachment kind of style.

As for us adult ones, we can relate to the insecure attachment way with some negative behaviours such as jealousy, intense change of emotions, and also an obsession. Improving a deeper friendship with your spouse despite your existing relationship can enhance more secured connection to each other. Doing something that both of you enjoy can give a big help on that and also spending time with each other. Always remember to have updates from your partner like what she or he likes, hates, new concerns and current stressors because people can easily change their minds and feelings. Efficient communication is the best and only way to keep up those changes.

5. Do not Distort

If you are in distorted thinking, seeing negatives in your relationship rather than appreciating the positive sides, then it’s time to stop and think over. Try to talk and ask for her explanations when issue arise. This may help you to enhance your emotional knowledge and help you to have a better understanding of your partner’s feelings. Another way is to put yourself on that situation and ask yourself how and what to say. At the end of this, tell yourself always to remember the good memories you have together. People who are focused on the positive aspects are called optimistic people. Be optimistic to feel better.

6. Look your common goals

A dating site in the UK set a study for couples if they have the same goals or not. They found out that 13% of pairs don’t have the same goals in their relationship nowadays and this is an alarming situation. A study says that couples who share their goals and dreams with each other are leading to having a long-lasting and successful relationship. If you are experiencing this situation right now, you both take action as soon as possible like taking a topic about philosophy of life. The main purpose of this is to talk about the future of your relationship, to know the wants of each other and goals for your relationship. Discuss anything that is mutual between you and your partner and how to work on it together. Looking for the common traits or goals between you and your partner is very vital life traits that can lead to romantic relationships.

7. Disclose negative cycles

Conflicting relationships try to follow the demand-withdraw pattern. This intends that a certain person leads to be more demanding, while the other one has the possibility to shut down or withdraw. According to Douglas Tilley, an advocate of feeling-focused therapy, 85% of men tend to withdraw; this might be a biological reason – Cardiovascular systems of men are considered to be more sensitive to stress, ignoring your partner is a way to avoid difficult feelings. To stop the negative issue in your relationship, let your mate know the problem with you by telling: “I know this topic is very relevant to you and I feel so angry to discuss it for now, so, let’s discuss this later once we cool down. “

8. Concentrate your mind on what is fixable

If the argument is neutral and does not give you a feeling that your riding in a roller coaster, think that it is still fixable. Finances are the main cause of tension in a certain relationship says Jay Zagorsky, an economist. He conducted a long study on this case and found out that 33% of partners have severely conflicting views when it comes to wages, debts and wealth. Monetary issues may erupt in the primary stages of living. To fix this issue, talk or discuss this with your partner and give your plans and consult any sources that will surely help you to get your finances to be on track. You should have an equal arrangement to work on it. This method can be used if the case is fixable.

9. Understand Anger

We all know that anger is natural in a relationship even in a healthy relationship. But letting this anger burst and create issue in your relationship is very alarming and not good at all.

Do you still remember the last argument you have with your partner? If yes, use this new information to discover the hidden words in what both of you are trying to communicate. Try to ignore the angry pitch you both have and try to listen to what both of you were trying to say will surely help you to understand each other and make sense of everything.

10. Accepting the unsolvable case

We have to accept that there are issues that can’t be solved no matter how hard you try to fix it.

To stop this problem in destroying you and your partner, you need to see the bigger issue that is hidden in your problems. Take time discussing this with your partner on what the issue is all about and if it is really important. If your partner is talking, just listen and don’t be judgemental and try to look for the bigger aspect that means to you, same for her too. Be sensitive in some touchy topics; both should agree or disagree on the issue and set a solution to it.

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